A heart and a mind have been wounded. If we are living our lives from a place of wounded-ness, we remain wounded. If we are living our lives from a place of belief that we can and will overcome, the mission becomes accomplished. I can say I have never met a soldier, police officer, firefighter, or emergency worker who would ever give up on a mission willingly. Each one of them that I have ever met, gave their all to accomplishing the mission at hand for the good of others.
Healing is your current mission. Don't abort the mission before you've given yourself a chance to succeed. Many times missions seem to be against all odds, but we all know that mountains can be moved and missions can succeed against all odds. Just ask the Navy SEALS....if you can you find one! You have to believe that if you have the strength, the stamina, and the ability to put your lives on the line for the good of others, that you have that same power to put that energy into doing what's right for the good of your own soul.
If I had given up, I wouldn't be sharing what I know with you today. There is great wisdom in the journey you travel. You just don't know where that journey is leading you until you get there. Now is not the time to give up on yourselves or give in to the feelings of unworthiness. PTSD is like a thief in the night that robs you of your self-worth. It's as if you become the enemy of your own soul, turning on yourself. If I call you a hero because of the work that you do and the sacrifices that you make, how is it that your image of yourself differs from that? What do you see that I don't see? What is it that I see that you can't see?
It's all about perception and where we are focusing our energy. Think about where you send your energy. Is it toward the positive of who you are and the impact you've made? Or is it toward the sense of unworthiness, worthlessness, anger, rage, and frustration you feel because of the inadequacy and lack of control that PTSD paints us with?
Consider the source of your internal compass. Is it being guided by what's current in your life right now or is it being guided by what happened to you in the past? The past has a way of coloring our current status, but only because we give it permission to do so. Hold up! I can hear you now saying, "BUT I DIDN"T CHOOSE THIS!" You are right, you didn't choose PTSD. It chose you without consent, but you do have a choice as to where you direct your energy. Picture a compass that instead of North, South, East, and West has the directions of past, present, future, and unknown. Where is your compass pointing? Is that where you want to be? If it's not, you get to chart a new course.
Who would have thought you still have choices when you have PTSD? It makes you feel like you don't have choices, doesn't it? It's just a masquerade ball where everything you thought you knew now hides behind a mask of confusion. You do, however, have a choice to pull those masks off and see who you really are again. You aren't at all the person PTSD has you believing you are.