The quiet space of contentment that many arrive at during meditation is real. It exists inside each one of us and is fully accessible to each one of us. We often look at injuries, medical conditions, and other situations in our lives as being "who we are".
This is largely a misconception we subscribe to.
I love watching people come out of meditation for the first time with this sense of peacefulness and curiosity on their faces. They often feel as if they were some place else, but yet were still here the whole time.
Some tell me that they feel calmer, more peaceful, and at ease. Others say I heard you, but then my mind would go somewhere else and suddenly I came back and there was your voice again.
My response to this is that this place of calmness, safety, and contentment isn't a pipe dream. It is the center of who we really are. It is the person we still are and always have been prior to and after our injuries, illnesses, and life experiences.
Think for a moment about who you are. Is who you are as a person angry? Bitter? Discontent? Injured? Would you agree that is the foundation of who you are? Does a broken leg make you a broken person? Does a troubled mind make you an inadequate human being?
Of course not. I have sat with troops who have told me some pretty intense experiences and yet, they say, "But I don't think I'm a bad person." I don't think they are a bad person either. I think that we all have experiences that challenge us to keep returning to the core of who we are, what it is we are here to do, and how we would like to proceed. Anger is never the root of who we are. If you look at anyone who harbors intense anger..........there is a life experience buried not too far below the surface that triggered that. It doesn't matter what that person is fighting for, with, or beside, there is something driving that. A Cause, a purpose, an injury, an experience, a belief. We aren't born angry. We learn anger.
Just as we learn anger, we can learn compassion. This compassion has to start with ourselves. If we turn on ourselves, which many with PTSD seem to do, who is on our side? We have to be our own battle buddy and recognize that our experiences may shape our perspective or skew it one way or another, but this is not the core of who we are. The quiet space; the one where you don't need to feel guarded; this is the foundation. This is where our creativity grows, our compassion is seated, and our love for living the life we have is housed. Appreciation, gratitude, compassion, and wholeness always exists at our core.
Think of it like this. Your inner being is safe inside of you; housed deep inside the walls of your body, unscathed, unharmed, but hiding, holding a candle. This inner being is waiting for the storm to pass so that you are able to see the sun shining again. The storm of your life experiences is one that has been waging for a while now, when is it that you will realize the storm has passed and there is this part of you that exists unharmed.
Have you ever considered that there is a part of you that has been unharmed?
My guess is that you haven't ever thought about it. Let yourself ponder that idea for a few days. Sit with the idea that you aren't broken, even though you may have identified with being broken. It's an eye opening question to ask and for those of you who have been reading for some time, you know that I am all about questions. Questions are what have helped me to recover as well as I have. If I didn't ask questions, I was passively agreeing to being broken and I just stopped agreeing to that after a while.
We are not here to simply survive our life and get to the end. We are here to live it.