It is sometimes assumed that if you get upset at anything, for any reason PTSD must be out of control. There is a difference between the, instinctual,uncontrolled response of reactivity and the premeditated thought process that takes place before you say something hurtful. I briefly addressed this in one of my previous blog posts, but it should be repeated.
As human beings, we are emotional creatures. We are designed to be happy, sad, angry, reactive, responsive, elated, sullen, surprised, enthusiastic, and so on. We are designed for all of these things and more. It is a perfectly human response to be upset when someone says something hurtful to you. It is not okay to then beat up on yourself because you got upset. There is a distinctive difference that gets blurry for many who are suffering from PTSD because our sense of self-worth does not have a solid foundation for which to stand on.
The expectation that we should be unemotional, non-reactive, unresponsive, is completely unrealistic; not to mention very unfair. We are allowed to feel hurt, angry, sad, tired, and so on. Why is that okay? Simply because we are human and we are allowed to feel. It is the negative self-talk that accompanies these feelings that becomes problematic. We tend to "go down the rabbit hole" as I say, thinking we were out of line for feeling a certain way.
Meditation teaches us to be present with how we feel, however we feel. If you are feeling sad, feel sad and be present with it. If you are feeling hurt by something, feel hurt and be with it. But do not give yourself a hard time for feeling and expect that you should have to stay in that state for eternity. This is a false belief that gets wired inside of us and a tough one to negotiate with.
This is never a matter of feeling or not feeling. It is a matter of being present with how you feel and observing your response to it without judging it. This is how we learn about our triggers and false beliefs.